I was doing so well guys, but life happened and I missed the past two weeks of posting…but I am back at it and ready to fill you in. It has been one heck of a year so far and it’s only February. I started out the year, as you have read, with shifting my whole life right around and ending a long-term relationship and started the journey of figuring out where to go from there. I won’t lie to you, it has been a struggle and I have cried more tears than I could ever explain. I have felt like there was no way out of the emotional state I was in and could not see the way forward. However, two weeks ago I made the tough decision of establishing boundaries that have made all the difference and given me the freedom I so desperately needed.
Boundaries are so important in life and I think I knew all along that these boundaries were what I needed to move forward but I was not in the place early on that I could do it. It was honestly the hardest thing I had to do and I am so blessed and thankful for my friends and family who came to my rescue as I was unraveling. Megan, Honor, and Sonja….you girls…uh, I could never thank you enough for all you have done and the way you have supported me in the past few months. My mom as well…she is one of a kind and I am beyond blessed to have her support and blessed that she would hold me as I cried and listen to me pour my heart out.
The Lord has been so good to me, though. Despite my short comings and my struggles, He has never left my side and has given me the strength to make the adjustments in my life that I needed to. I have really been soaking up this new found peace that He has given me in the past few weeks and thankful for the new vision for my life He has given me. I look at the place I am in right now and cannot help but feel joy and excitement for where the Lord is leading me. It’s a hope I have not felt in such a long time. It’s so refreshing.
I was having a conversation with my friend Honor last night about where I am at and how I am feeling and I related it to baking a cake. I used to bake and decorate cakes so it was the first analogy I could come up with. She asked how I had been doing and handling this transition and I said that I had been doing well, but I am in the stages of baking a cake where it’s starting to cook on the outside and develop a good foundation but the inside is still runny and if something disrupts my baking time, like breaking my established boundaries, then I am not at a place where I could handle that right now. My heart, mind, and soul are still healing and “baking”. I am doing all the things I need to do but I am not there yet. The boundaries I have set in place act as the oven door and I need it to stay closed while the Lord does the work. Healing, and baking, take TIME.
So what does this baking time look like? Well, I have been intentional about building my relationship with the Lord. I have been focused on praying, listening to worship music, podcasts, reading, joining a small group at church, and focusing on walking in the Lords will. I have been intentional about spending time with friends and surrounding myself with those that love me. I have put more focus on my career and school. I really am loving this place I am in right now. I am excited about the way forward. It doesn’t mean I don’t have hard days, but it means I have a new perspective and I keep moving even when I am feeling the weight of the world.
So, to you friends who are in transition in life or who may be feeling you are in the valley, keep pressing on because the Lord is faithful and His will for your life is far greater than you could imagine. I encourage you to press in and be intentional with your time with the Lord. I am here walking this out with you and hope that I can be a support for you and can be a walking testimony of the goodness of God. He is so good and you are so loved. I speak blessings over you today and cannot wait to continue to share my journey with you.
” Look up and lift your eyes, the future’s open wide. I have great plans for you, oh, yes, I do. Your past is dead and gone, your healing has begun, I’m making all things new. I’m reaching out, I’ll chase you down. I dare you to believe how much I love you now. Don’t be afraid, I am your strength. We’ll be walking on the water, dancing on the waves.”Dancing on the Waves by We the Kingdom