I have been informed that I am slacking on my blog and people are not happy about it. Guys…I apologize. I suck and that is just all there is to it. So I think we should just pick up where we left off. I was released from in-patient rehab at the end of March and spent the next few weeks doing home health. I was in this weird funk where life was passing my by and I felt so alone. My mom had to go back to work and the majority of all of my friends worked day jobs as well, and with me not being able to drive I was just stuck. Looking back, I should have taken advantage of that time much better than I did. I spent the time feeling sorry for myself and my situation and struggled to find peace with what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I had incredible friends who would drive 35 min to my house to pick me up, take me out, and bring me 35 minutes back home just to spend time with me and get me out of the house (shout out to Monique, Megan, and Emily…you girls kept me sane). However, being home was much harder than I had anticipated because I just wanted my independence back.
At the end of April, I was finally released to drive again. Man…this was a surreal experience. I mean the last time I had been behind the wheel I legit almost lost my life. I struggled for the first few weeks and still have trouble even now when my anxiety gets too high with traffic. Being able to drive, though, opened up the opportunity to get my life back. I utilized my time by going to Starbucks and finishing up my classes for school, going to outpatient physical therapy, and spending time with friends…and Tyler. I may have left you all on a cliffhanger a few months ago about my relationship with Tyler. So, I should probably clear that up. Right after I was put into the trauma unit I chose to end our relationship. It was a painful decision but was the best decision for me at the time. I won’t go into detail about why we broke up but just know, it was necessary. Our time apart gave me time to recover and do some self-exploration and gave him time to work on his own personal challenges. Our relationship prior to breaking up had become very challenging and unhealthy. After I was released home we started seeing each other again and he would get me out of the house to go hang out with our other friends. He had made a lot of progress in working through his challenges and I had come far in working on myself. After a few months of spending time together, we decided to get back together and give it a go again. While we are not currently engaged, we are taking our relationship day by day and making a lot of improvements. What can I say…I love him. So, now you no longer have to wait in agony to wonder what the heck is going on!
Apart from working on my relationship with Tyler and improving my friendships with all of my friends…I was FINALLY released to return to work on June 21st. WOOHOO! I absolutely love my job and love my coworkers. I was so happy to return. Returning to work did have its own challenges though. I have to drive the same route everyday that I drove the same day of my accident. I pass by the spot where I almost lost my life five days a week. I suppose, in some ways, it is a reminder of the blessing that I am still alive and that I have purpose. I am also in the midst of my internship for school. So my days typically revolve around work until 4:30 and then driving an hour to go do counseling sessions in the evenings and weekends. So, I think it is safe to say that I am fighting the plague of busyness all over again. My days are consumed with work and internship as well making time for friends and family… not to mention the fact that I workout with a trainer 3 days a week. Let me just take a small pause to send a shout out to my trainer Taylor who legit has been such a blessing in my recovery process. He works hard with me 3x a week and encourages me each small step of the way. It is not easy to work out with someone who is also doing rehab but he has done wonders for me. Anyways…back on track now… so yeah, I am fighting hard to prioritize my time and make sure that I do not end up in the same head space that I was in prior to my accident.
It is so hard, you know, to not fall right back into old habits. Accidents and tragedies always make you recalculate where you are in life and your decisions but often times the farther from the incident we get the more prone we are to rolling right back into how life was. I am doing my best to be intentional with my time. I was given this wonderful second chance and I do not want to waste it. Sure, I am back to busyness, but I have a whole new mindset and new focus that I am able to manage the busyness in a healthier manner. The busyness no longer controls me as it once used to. So, what now? What’s next for the blog? Well… have no fear, I am not going anywhere no matter how busy I am. I want to hear from you first and see if there are any questions you might have or any more focus on certain aspects of my life up to this point that you would like me to touch base on. After that, well…you know the drill… STAY TUNED!
Drop some questions for me below or feel free to message me on Instagram and I will answer everyone’s questions in my next post! You have one week so let’s see what you got!!