So…what now?

I have been informed that I am slacking on my blog and people are not happy about it. Guys…I apologize. I suck and that is just all there is to it. So I think we should just pick up where we left off. I was released from in-patient rehab at the end of March and spent the next few weeks doing home health. I was in this weird funk where life was passing my by and I felt so alone. My mom had to go back to work and the majority of all of my friends worked day jobs as well, and with me not being able to drive I was just stuck. Looking back, I should have taken advantage of that time much better than I did. I spent the time feeling sorry for myself and my situation and struggled to find peace with what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I had incredible friends who would drive 35 min to my house to pick me up, take me out, and bring me 35 minutes back home just to spend time with me and get me out of the house (shout out to Monique, Megan, and Emily…you girls kept me sane). However, being home was much harder than I had anticipated because I just wanted my independence back.

Tyler and I

At the end of April, I was finally released to drive again. Man…this was a surreal experience. I mean the last time I had been behind the wheel I legit almost lost my life. I struggled for the first few weeks and still have trouble even now when my anxiety gets too high with traffic. Being able to drive, though, opened up the opportunity to get my life back. I utilized my time by going to Starbucks and finishing up my classes for school, going to outpatient physical therapy, and spending time with friends…and Tyler. I may have left you all on a cliffhanger a few months ago about my relationship with Tyler. So, I should probably clear that up. Right after I was put into the trauma unit I chose to end our relationship. It was a painful decision but was the best decision for me at the time. I won’t go into detail about why we broke up but just know, it was necessary. Our time apart gave me time to recover and do some self-exploration and gave him time to work on his own personal challenges. Our relationship prior to breaking up had become very challenging and unhealthy. After I was released home we started seeing each other again and he would get me out of the house to go hang out with our other friends. He had made a lot of progress in working through his challenges and I had come far in working on myself. After a few months of spending time together, we decided to get back together and give it a go again. While we are not currently engaged, we are taking our relationship day by day and making a lot of improvements. What can I say…I love him. So, now you no longer have to wait in agony to wonder what the heck is going on!

I went to visit my bestie in South Dakota.

Apart from working on my relationship with Tyler and improving my friendships with all of my friends…I was FINALLY released to return to work on June 21st. WOOHOO! I absolutely love my job and love my coworkers. I was so happy to return. Returning to work did have its own challenges though. I have to drive the same route everyday that I drove the same day of my accident. I pass by the spot where I almost lost my life five days a week. I suppose, in some ways, it is a reminder of the blessing that I am still alive and that I have purpose. I am also in the midst of my internship for school. So my days typically revolve around work until 4:30 and then driving an hour to go do counseling sessions in the evenings and weekends. So, I think it is safe to say that I am fighting the plague of busyness all over again. My days are consumed with work and internship as well making time for friends and family… not to mention the fact that I workout with a trainer 3 days a week. Let me just take a small pause to send a shout out to my trainer Taylor who legit has been such a blessing in my recovery process. He works hard with me 3x a week and encourages me each small step of the way. It is not easy to work out with someone who is also doing rehab but he has done wonders for me. Anyways…back on track now… so yeah, I am fighting hard to prioritize my time and make sure that I do not end up in the same head space that I was in prior to my accident.

Ya’ll, I bought a Jeep OIIIIO
Jeepin’ with Megan

It is so hard, you know, to not fall right back into old habits. Accidents and tragedies always make you recalculate where you are in life and your decisions but often times the farther from the incident we get the more prone we are to rolling right back into how life was. I am doing my best to be intentional with my time. I was given this wonderful second chance and I do not want to waste it. Sure, I am back to busyness, but I have a whole new mindset and new focus that I am able to manage the busyness in a healthier manner. The busyness no longer controls me as it once used to. So, what now? What’s next for the blog? Well… have no fear, I am not going anywhere no matter how busy I am. I want to hear from you first and see if there are any questions you might have or any more focus on certain aspects of my life up to this point that you would like me to touch base on. After that, well…you know the drill… STAY TUNED!

Meet Jolene

Drop some questions for me below or feel free to message me on Instagram and I will answer everyone’s questions in my next post! You have one week so let’s see what you got!!

2 thoughts on “So…what now?

  1. Lauren,
    I just love your blog. I could so relate to you when you were talking about getting back into the car that almost took your life and having to drive by that place every day when you go to work. In 1998 I was cornered in the bathroom at work by a man nearly twice my age at the time. He grabbed me and kissed me on the neck while I was cleaning the toilet. He intended on more and told me so, but I managed to get away from him. I later promoted and was sent to other stations and then for about the last 15 years of my career I was put back at that station ironically due to another promotion and specialty certifications. There are 5 bathrooms in that station, but that one was right by the fire truck. I would sometimes go inside of it just to have victory. Sometimes smells in there will activate a meltdown; sweating, crying, or shaking. But guess what? After pushing myself and claiming victory in Jesus each and every time, no matter the feelings, I can go inside that bathroom and say God we did it! We overcame. Father God I pray right now in the name of Jesus that you will overcome all of the emotional triggers that go with such an event. I pray for Your future, that it will be an upward trajectory. I pray Father God that you will bless Lauren back for being so laid wide open and you will fill her heart with her desires according to your word. Bless her for giving. My questions to you will be in another comment. Much love Cindy Hemingson

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  2. 1. What is the most memorable lesson you have learned from your parents?
    2. Since the accident, have your priorities changed, and how has your decision making changed , if any?
    3. Do you still feel clogged from the accident or are you wide open? If clogged,what steps will you take to change that?
    3. Each generation has something to give to humanity what will your generations be and what would you like your personal contribution to be(your legacy)?
    4. If you are having trouble reaching what you want to be your legacy, will you change what you want or push through?
    5. What responsibility do you wish you did not have?
    6. If you could only hear 2 things in life what would they be?
    7. What makes your heart ache and what makes your heart soar?
    8. What was the impact of an error in judgement you have made and what did you learn from it?
    9. How do you prioritize your time?
    10. How do you choose your friends?
    11. What is something you could teach me that you have learned from work?
    12. What is the most insensitive thing a person can do, ask alot of questions?
    I’m sorry to have asked you so many questions. Please only answer the ones you desire. I just love you so and would like to know more about you. Most people don’t ask for opinions, suggestions, questions… but if given the opportunity, I try to make the most of it. If there is anything that you would like to ask me shoot me a text at 9312780108 or email me. Much Love, Cindy

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